The scene opens in Alexander's throne room, added next to the picked head of Alexis Makarios is a squid, skewered by a squid. Beside him is one of the knights, the one in blood stained armor. As the sinister grin creeps across his face, a single phrase flashes for a moment, before he speaks.
CONQUER AND DESTROY
Alexander: Family is an interesting thing. Some of them stick together, some of them fall apart and some of them fall apart then reconnect. But most of the time it’s just drama. Family drama is something we sort of have in common isn’t it Carpenter Sisters? Jennifer’s husband, or ex-husband or whoever the fuck he is possibly has another kid nobody knew about. Something about a long lost sister. It all sounds very Dr. Phil meets Maury Povich, which in my humble opinion belongs AWAY from the wrestling ring. This isn’t the place for your family drama Carpenters. When you step into the ring with my BROTHER and myself you are going to quickly learn that sometimes, blood is in fact NOT thicker than water.
The warrior beside Alex clangs his sword with excitement.
Alexander: ANTITHESIS is a brotherhood free of drama. Sanders, Dio, Sykes and myself are the strongest and most united family in PWS. We are the true bane of your destruction because we don’t know fear and we thrive in the violence. Look at everything Sanders has done since his arrival, he’s destroyed everyone in his path. Dionysus has people quivering in fear just by his mere presence. Tyson Sykes proved he’s one of the toughest sonsofbitches in this company when he DESTROYED Chaz Holiday. Then you have me, who decimated and humiliated a former champion and a hall of famer in my debut match. Is that something you really think you can stand against? If so, yo’re just as stupid as Mike Hawk.
The words flow, full of hatred form his lips, hateful eyes never wavering from the camera, as he remains seated in his throne.
Alexander: Mr. Birdbrain decided he wanted to play with fire and will most assured pay the price for his transgressions against ANTITHESIS. I hope you sisters are smarter than that, I would assume so. Mike Hawk is a complete idiot and it’s not hard to be smarter than he is. You’re welcome to give it your best shot, just as long as you know it won’t be enough. Sykes and myself are going to conquer and destroy, and then go on to become the next PWS tag team champions by doing the same to The Russows and The Commonwealth. There’s an old tale about how there would be no Dickie Watson without The Lyons Family, but...in due time.
Alex grins, and gives the camera a wink.
Alexander: Honestly Jenn, Madison..the best outcome you dames can hope for is a valiant showing. But a victory is just too far from your grasp, it’s unreachable. Once I tie you in my Gordian Knot, there is no escape. Only Alexander can break the Gordian Knot, and clearly I won’t be using it on myself.
In a flash, we get a quick shot of Alexis tapping out to the move, followed by Squid-Man passing out.
Alexander: You’re stepping into a warzone, and you need to push all that family drama aside and focus on what’s really in front of you. Worry about the destructive force that is coming your way, and just...give it your best shot. Like I said, don’t expect a victory. It’s just not in the cards for you ladies. Not today, and if it’s against ANTITHESIS, not ever. The best option for you, is to stick to the Maury Povich drama, it’s all your good at. I might even know someone who can help….
After a twisty whirly camera effect, another one of Alex’s costumed videos plays, this time he's sitting on what looks to be the set of some sort of talk show, with two couches set on a stage, flanked by a couple of ferns. A cheesy little ditty plays, as Alexander whose seated on one of the couches in some rather nice dress attire sits with a rather creepy warm smile.
Alexander: Hello, and welcome to The Alexander Lyons show, we have a great show for you lined up today, the results of a HUGE DNA TEST!!
The sounds of a clearly canned crowd reaction cheers and claps at Alex's words.
Alexander: The Lopez family is here, and it appears Eddie Lopez may have been a very naughty boy indeed.
Alex gives off one of the most arrogant winks ever to the camera.
Alexander: We also have Gracie and Crystal Lopez in the house, as well as his ex-wife girlfriend Jennifer Carpenter. We’re going to find out of Eddie is truly the father of young Crystal. Let’s bring out the ladies first shall we??
The canned cheers are back, as three very likely underpaid actresses dressed to look like the ladies in question come out waving and take a seat.
Alexander: So, Jennifer Eddie is your ex-husband correct?
Fake Jennifer: Yes, that is correct.
Alexander: Indeed, and I guess Eddie must be a pretty frisky fellow yes?
Fake Jennifer: He’s been known to be yes, even in our marriage he always brought home different ladies, honestly he might have more hidden babies than Crystal out there. But today is about Crystal, today we find out the truth.
Fake Crystal: I just wanna know who my daddy is. You’re going to help me right mister?
Alexander: Well, we do have the results of your DNA test. So...yes?
Fake Crystal: Yippie!!!
Fake Gracie: Oh boy, I‘ve always wanted a sister! I hope it’s true.
Alexander: Hoping for a happy ending are you? Just want to be one big happy Lopez family?
The two girls nod with excitement, Jenn however looks unamused.
Fake Jennifer: How come he never gave ME any babies? I’m left with these bastard stepchildren, but no kids of my own with Eddie. I guess he liked the other women better.
Alexander: That’s truly unfortunate. Why don’t we ask him? Let’s bring Eddie out here!
The cheesy music plays, and “Eddie” saunters out, but it’s canned boos this time, as the actor (again probably underpaid), taunts at the “crowd” like he’s some sort of arrogant heel. He takes himself a seat on the couch.
Alexander: Welcome Eddie.
Fake Eddie: What’s goin’ on Alex?! How you doing ese?
Alexander: Well, I’m perfectly fine, but I think it’s you who we need answers from.
Fake Jennifer: Yeah! Why did you never give ME any kids? I’m honestly tired of helping raise all your illegitimate bastards!
The two girls look shocked, offended even at Jenn's words.
Fake Eddie: Hey, take it easy chica. It’s not my fault, it just happened that way you know?
Fake Crystal: Can we not make this about the two of you? I want to find my daddy.
Fake Eddie: I agree, and don’t you worry either chica. If you aren’t my daughter, I can still be your daddy.
The canned boos are back, louder this time.
Alexander: Woah, easy tiger. That might be your daughter you’re talking to.
Fake Gracie: Yeah dad, don’t be gross.
Fake Eddie: Just saying IF she’s not, her and I can try to make you a new sister. You know since Jenn’s parts don’t seem to be functioning properly.
Jennifer suddenly stand up and starts mouthing off in Eddies face, she’s pulled back to her seat by a security guard that looks oddly like Tyson Sykes, as the canned chanting of ALEX!! ALEX!! ALEX!! Is heard.
Alexander: Can we have some decorum please?
Fake Eddie: Pff, she started it.
Alexander: Perhaps we should just move onto the results.
Everyone seems to be in agreement to that, as an envelope is passed to Alex by a different guy who looks oddly like Dinoysus, who then heads backstage again quietly.
Alexander: So, are we ready for this?
The “Lopez” family all nod in agreement, as Alex opens the letter, skimming it over himself before reading it.
Fake Crystal: Just tell us!
Alexander: Well, Eddie...in the case of Crystal Lopez, you ARE the father.
Jenn looks visibly annoyed, as Gracie and Crystal hug each other in celebration.
Alexander: There’s more here though, as you know we took a sample from Gracie as well, and as it turns out Eddie, in the case of Gracie Lopez, you are NOT the father.
Fake Gracie: This can’t be possible.
Alexander: Our tests don’t lie. This is all 100% truth.
Fake Eddie: Well now that you’re not my daughter….
Fake Gracie: Don’t even try it.
Fake Eddie: Whatever.
Fake Jenn: You’re such a pig.
Fake Eddie: Yeah, Madison and Alexis said the same thing last night.
Jenn angrily slaps Eddie across the face.
Fake Gracie: Hey, don’t you put your hands on my dad!
Fake Crystal: He’s not your dad bitch!
Soon, the scene erupts into chaos, all the girls are clawing and fighting each other, the ALEX! ALEX! ALEX! chants are back, Eddie gleefully watches as Alex manages to slip away amid the chaos, moving up closer to the camera.
Alexander: Such chaos here today everybody. I do hope the Lopez family can work out their issues, next time on The Alexander Lyons show, we talk to professional hawk hunter, Johnny Sanderman. Until then, have an absolutely marvelous day.
The wisp whirly effect takes us back to the throne room.
Alexander: Terrible. Hopefully they can work their issues out. Sykes and myself are not going to play nice, so you’re going to have to be willing to get mean, play a little dirty. Sadly I just don’t think you have that extra edge needed in you to survive this match, should ANTITHESIS choose to let you survive that is. Look behind me, ask your dear friend Alexis what she thinks of me now.
The shot gives us a closeup of the piked Alexis’ head, for a brief moment.
Alexander: ANTITHESIS is going to be your next tag team champions, and there is NOTHING any of you can do about it.
Alex takes a few seconds, just staring at the camera.
Alexander: Hear US roar.
Another second, and the video comes to it’s usual jarring, and unsettling end.