Post by Brody Shiner on Aug 5, 2021 14:14:20 GMT -5
“Maybe it’s time to heal… Maybe it’s time to try… Maybe it’s time to deal with all the pieces in my life…”
That’s right Bro...pop another pill, that’s what you do isn’t it?
“Hey...I’m going to deal with BOSTONIANS...wouldn’t YOU?”
...point noted, complaint withdrawn!
(Both hands white knuckled on the steering wheel, Brody Shiner finally makes it to the hotel he’s got a reservation at. He pulls up in a ‘05 Toyota Corolla and as he stops and checks his reflection in the mirror trying to frantically brush out the dark bags under his eyes. He takes a deep breath.)
Brody Shiner: Fake it til you make it, kid...make ‘em remember you.
(Brody suddenly puts on his favorite aviators as he turns the music up as his radio starts pumping “Popular Monster” by Falling In Reverse as everything goes in slow motion, Brady slowly opens the door…)
“Okay, yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day... And it's probably 'cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me!!!”
(Brody steps out putting on the “I’m hot shit” act and walking in slow-motion...even though the camera isn’t going into slow motion. Brody suddenly stops and takes his aviators...there was no paparazzi, no fans, no adoring masses. There was a bellhop.)
“‘Cause I’m about to BREAK down! I’m searchin’ for a way out!!! I’m a liar! I’m a cheater! I’m a non-believer!...”
(Brody sighs and grabs his bag….)
Brody Shiner: S’just go to fuckin’ bed...they’ll see.
(Brody walks off into the hotel as the song finishes the chorus screaming…)
“I’M A POPULAR! POPULAR MONSTER!!!”
(We open at a local park where we see throngs of latinos hanging out, most wearing face masks and staying pretty distant as we see grills sizzling to life and scuttlebutting up the sidewalk is everyone’s not favorite, our zero! BRODY FUCKIN’ SHINER!!!! He dances to the salsa music as he takes a big sniff.)
Brody Shiner: O ye these are mi RAZA right here!
(He goes to shake a large, angry looking man who is joined by many in staring down the camera crew and the unwanted shrub that just interrupted.)
Brody Shiner: Orale abuela es on FUEGO with this salsa right now!
Abuela: ...wh-....who are you?
Brody Shiner: I’m Juan’s son!
Abuela: Look around you pendejo, ANYONE could be “Juan’s son”
(Brody turns back to the camera.)
Brody Shiner: See Dick Rider ain’t got nothin’ like THIS! He don’t know familia like THIS! What backup you got...some whack ass team of hair stylists to make that pompadour defy gravity? Hmm? Them roots are showin’ old man, you can’t hide that age no more! Matta fact? I’mma do him a favor. Imma fuck his ass up seven ways to sunday and then I’ll do a double fuckin’ feature!
Large Latino: EH...WHAT’CHERMOUTH ESSE!
Brody Shiner: Apologies, my brother! Many apologies! And I want you all to know! When I make my PWS debut! When I have my hand raised in victory...I CARRY YOU ALL WITH ME-
Abuela: GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!
(Brody suddenly starts getting pelted with trash but he holds his head high and takes it as his christening as he kicks his Heelies to ride away from the cookout as we fade to black.)
Post by Devon Ryder on Aug 8, 2021 22:40:15 GMT -5
*We open on a brilliant sunset, the skyline of Boston, MA silhouetted beautifully against the brilliant purple and orange hues filling the sky. As we slowly zoom in we find ourselves in a densely populated area of the city, following a male figure down the sidewalk of what appears to be a bustling street, lined with shops of various kinds and other pedestrians going about their business. The figure, as we can now see, is none other than PWS: Apex’s own self-styled “Canadian Hero”, the newcomer named Devon Ryder. Ryder is wearing a red t-shirt with the words “Made in Canada/Fabriqué au Canada” emblazoned on the front of it, surrounding a white Maple Leaf in the centre. Ryder strides briskly down the road, wearing a plain black facemask with a small distressed Canadian flag across the front, before checking the street address of the nearest shop and coming to a stop, turning to face the camera and removing his mask.*
“For those not in the know, this road may seem just like any other in America. Save for a few distinctive markers that give away its location, this might be any street that any one of you have ever seen; but the truth is, this road is anything BUT ordinary. This road, in fact, has a grim significance to modern American history. This is Boylston Street, just shy of Copley Square, deep in the heart of one of America’s oldest cities, Boston. Now, some of the more savvy and informed among you may recognize those names, because this is the site of the now-infamous Boston Marathon Bombing. For those unaware, in 2013, the 19th annual Boston Marathon - held, as you might have guessed, in part along this very stretch of road - became the site of a horrible, radical religiously-motivated terrorist attack.”
*Ryder pauses now, inhaling sharply to calm himself before he refocuses his attention on the camera.*
“At approximately 2:49 in the afternoon, two bombs were detonated along the very stretch of road that I’m walking now. At least 246 civilians were injured, and three were killed on the spot, with many others requiring amputations or suffering critical wounds that would alter their quality of life forever. Moreover, when fleeing the scene in Cambridge, Massachusetts, later that same day, the bombers shot and killed Officer Sean A. Collier of the MIT Police Department because they believed they needed his handgun. The two were eventually caught, but the whole event remains a tragedy, plain and simple. I will never argue against that. What happened to those people, those innocent bystanders who only wanted to enjoy a race on a lovely April afternoon, was absolutely - categorically - fucking unacceptable. But let us examine, if you’ll indulge me, precisely WHY this horrible act occurred. The brothers responsible, whose names I will not share as they have already been publicized enough and deserve no more notoriety for the despicable things they’ve done, were two Russian immigrants who self-radicalized against America and the American way of life because of the US’s aggressive and, frankly, overreaching foreign policy. Your war campaigns in Afghanistan and Iraq brought this bombing on you, your government’s inability to restabilize the governments it topples; its unwillingness to rebuild the regions it destroys. Violence begets violence, as the old adage so aptly says, and while these horrific actions will never be reasonable, rational OR justified, perhaps you ought to look inward before you classify any broken, desperate human being as simply “evil”. Radicalism is not an inborn trait, after all, there is ALWAYS a cause that incites it. Blame the perpetrators, punish them duly and SEVERELY for their disdainful disregard for the importance of human life...but while you are so doing, don’t ever forget who pulled the trigger to SET them on that path, and make sure you pass equal blame on your elected leaders for their OWN, however indirect, involvement in the cycle. Terrorists do not operate in a vacuum, domestic or otherwise, and behind every indefensible monster who murders in cold blood is a vicious, broken system that failed them. We could all do well to remember that, and to exercise a bit more critical thinking and nuance in our judgment of others. Something my opponent tonight seems utterly unfamiliar with.”
*Ryder pauses now, shaking his head with a derisive smirk as he lets out a soft little chuckle into the camera.*
“Brody, Brody, Brody...where do I begin with you? Are you...PROUD to be an American, Brody? Are you happy to live in the country that you do? I’d be willing to bet that you are. I would also be very willing to put money on the fact that you HADN’T heard of the Boston Marathon Bombing before I mentioned it tonight. Assuming your ID is correct, you would only have been 13 years old when they transpired. Do you remember what you were doing at 13 years old, Brody Shiner? Do you recall where your priorities were? I expect that they were much the same as they are today; some children, as they say, never truly grow up. You were likely as preoccupied with partying and having casual sex and indulging your vices as you are now. Hardly the model of a politically-active, passionate Gen Zed as your generation is so often generously painted to be. But then, no group is a monolith; for every passionate, compassionate, environmentally- and socially-conscious young thinker your generation creates, there are just as many unempathetic, self-obsessed, oblivious dickheads like you. Let me ask you another question, Brody: has your school ever done an ‘active shooter drill’? Mine didn’t. And I know, we came of age during very different points in human history, but I still have siblings and cousins in the Canadian educational system, so I can tell you with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY: they don’t do them either. So why is that, Brody? Why would there be such a discrepancy between the way public school students drill in Canada versus the United States? I’m sure you’ve never wondered, but let me offer a solution anyway; because MY country is not a cesspit. MY country is not filled with homicidal psychopaths who are able to obtain a firearm as easily as a new pair of jeans. MY country does not EMBOLDEN and ENABLE a gun-violent culture by taking political donations from the NRA and allowing open-carry permits and ‘stand your ground’ laws to apply on public property!”
*Ryder pauses, sighing a frustrated sigh as he composes himself.*
“But do you know what my country DOES do, Brody? We react. We LEARN from our mistakes, and we CHANGE our culture and society so horrible atrocities like the Boston Bombing or the subsequent murder of Officer Collier, can never. Happen. Again. Do you know how many terrorist attacks America suffered in 2013, Brody? SIX. The Boston Bombing was only the second of what would be MANY more to come. Do you know how many CANADA suffered in that time? Zero. We foiled two plots, but they never passed the conspiracy phase, and no innocent lives were taken as a result of radicalized violence that year. Do you know how many school shootings you experienced? 25. Meanwhile, in Canada? Zero. We have had SEVEN school shootings in the entire history of our country, Brody Shiner, and 12 mass shootings IN TOTAL. But do you know what we did after those shootings? We changed our gun laws, we made it HARDER for broken, malicious people to obtain weapons that would allow them to do harm on a massive scale. Handguns are EXTREMELY regulated in Canada, nearly ALL firearms must be registered, and just last year our Prime Minister outlawed all automatic rifles in the country. Because we’re not perfect, Brody, but at least we’re trying to improve. We may not be paradise, but when compared with the country with whom we share a border, we’re as close as you can get. Tonight, I hope that you see that. I don’t expect to motivate you to take political action, I don’t expect you to totally change your attitude, but I hope at least that I can be an example of what you COULD be, Brody, when you and your country finally decide...to grow up.”
*With that, Devon has finished, and he pivots away from the camera, pulls his mask back over his nose and mouth, and continues down the road into the Boston sunset.*