“KEEP YOUR HOPES UP HIGH AND YOUR HEAD DOWN LOW!”
Hooooooly shit...what am I doing here? Why? WHY did I let it escalate this far, WHY did I have to be the Knight in Shining Armor! Mack coulda done it easily! Mack’s already bested my dad once! Granted Dad wasn’t prepared and Mack had the element of surprise but oh my God I’m doing it again...I’m rambling!“Abashed the Devil stood...and felt how awful goodness is…”WHAT? What the FUCK!? What’s that supposed to mean? Alright...keep it together...we’ve wrestled before, we know what we’re doing. Granted it was never in an arena THIS SIZE in front of THIS MANY PEOPLE and, what am I missing? OH YEAH, maybe the fact that THIS IS THE COMPANY THAT WATCHED ME GROW UP! Feck. FEEEEECK!
“LOVE!
YOUR HATE!
YOUR!
FAITH LOST!
YOU!
ARE NOW!
ONE!
ONE OF US!”(A spotlight shines down onstage as “Miseria Cantare” by AFI blares and we see the Reverend Synister standing in prayer laughing like a madman before he raises his arms and the lights come up and he moves to the side...Jack is bouncing up and down looking like he could take off for Syn himself at any minute...when Syn raises his hand towards the curtain and we see the hulking executioner from the videos come pushing a cartable pillory with the matted features of a broken man seething with hair hanging over his face...as they approach the ring they stop at the bottom and Syn gives the executioner a nod who opens the pillory and grabs the man by the hair and viciously throw him into the ring as he suddenly snaps to life like he doesn’t know where he is...with even darker circles under his eyes than usual...the hair is flipped back to reveal a battered and manic Levi Russow glaring a madman’s death into the very soul of Jack Russow. He lunges at him but Jack sidesteps with a look of sheer terror on his face as Levi doesn’t even really stand...he stays hunched like a gorilla.)
...Dad...what...what the fuck did they DO to you?(Jack casts his eyes to Syn who is cackling madly and the executioner looking onward stoically as his dad mauls around the ring like a bewildered madman. Before stopping, still hunched in front of Jack before standing straight up as the bell rings walking towards him seemingly muttering under his breath like an unhinged madman.)
Jack Russow: Dad...I-
(To Jack’s surprise, in a hushed tone, Levi growls.)
Levi Russow: Hush. We don’t have a lot of time. Listen to me and do EXACTLY as I say, got it?
Jack Russow: What? But-
Levi Russow: EXACTLY. As I say. Get ready. Slap, then tackle punches, make it look good.
(Levi hauls off and slaps Jack in the face as HARD as he can and in that moment it all clicked to Jack...and he let out a primal scream and swept his father's legs raining the weakest hellfire punches that look like they could kill a man with every shot. Even under the flurry Levi calls.)
Levi Russow: Poke to the eye, charge you, get outta the way. When I hit the chair and come back, finish me.
Jack Russow: Dad I-
Levi Russow: NOW!
(Levi pokes Jack in the eyes which sends him stumbling back as Levi kips up to his feet and shrieks like a banshee darting forward at Jack.)
Levi Russow: MOVE.
(Jack sidesteps and Levi sends himself headfirst into a wedged chair in the corner, he stumbles backwards as Jack grabs him in an abdominal stretch.)
Levi Russow: NOW.
(Jack flips over hitting the Cut the Cord! 1! 2! 3! Jack bolts up and instinctively jumps on the turnbuckle to celebrate then powerslides up to his father hugging him. Levi stoically through clenched teeth whispers.)
Levi Russow: I’m so proud of you…slide out...make it look good…
(Levi gets a wild-eyed glare like he’s about to snap...Syn is losing his shit on the outside screaming “FINISH HIM!” as Jack slides up to one knee still not completely sure what’s going on...Levi starts absolutely seething...the time bomb about to hit zero! Syn licks his lips in anticipation!
...before Levi slides over and puts his arm around Jack shooting Syn a wink.)
Scene Fades…
(The tour was finally over...everyone, and we mean EVERYONE was finally home. Standing on the pewter steps outside looking up and the hulking mansion he grew up in stands Jack Russow with his hands in his pockets. Intertwined in his arm stands United Champion Alanah O’Connell.)
Alanah O’Connell: What’s wrong babe?
Jack Russow: It all feels...different now.
Alanah O’Connell: How so?
Jack Russow: Like...a GOOD different. Like all the pieces of the puzzle are back where they belong.
“I HEAR THE DULCET SOUNDS OF MY VERY BEST SCENE PARTNER!!!”
(Suddenly the door FLIES open and young Rosie Russow flows out onto the porch draped in a velour blanket as a cape.)
Alanah O’Connell: YOUR MAJESTY! My what a DARLING robe you’ve fashioned as usual!
Rosie Russow: Oh this old thing? Why I hardly notice it anymore but COME COME! There’s so much to SEE! You MUST see the new theatre it. Is. to DIE for!
(Jack kisses Alanah on the forehead and she lets go of his arm before curtsying to the young Russow maiden and taking her hand being led so eloquently into the house. Levi chuckles under his breath before entering himself. He’s careful...he’s slinking up the staircase and so far nobody has noticed him when he looks to the left, he sees young Charlie...once again with his nose buried in a book. Jack’s heart breaks for a moment...he would need to check on him later. But right now? Right now there was something he needed to do. He slinks further down the hall and into the trophy room. He walks around and marvels at all the “Match of the Year” and “Male Superstar of the Year” and “Hall of Fame” plaques and the like and in the middle of the room stands a line of mannequins each donning the ring jacket of every single one of Levi’s biggest wins but the one in the middle with the caption “Won PWSi International Title” the mannequin stands bare. As Jack pulls a bundle from under his free arm and unfurls it to show...the ring jacket he’d taken from his father and worn to the ring. He begins to slide it back on the mannequin UNTIL-)
“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?”(Jack freezes in his steps and turns around to see the bandaged features of the once great Iceman Levi Russow blocking the doorway with his arms crossed with his beloved wife Emma standing just inside the doorway with her hands clasped together over her heart.)
Jack Russow: I-...I took this from you…
Levi Russow: Yeah...and?
Jack Russow: I TOOK it. I didn’t earn it...it wasn’t bestowed upon me...in fact, as I recall, it got me cut off completely. So I didn’t deserve to take your history from you...no matter how mad I was at the time.
Levi Russow: Uhhhh huh...I see.
Jack Russow: ...and I did what I set out to do. I set out to make you acknowledge that I wasn’t some little kid that needed to be sheltered anymore, I wasn’t some snot nosed punk with a silver spoon in my mouth, I TOOK this jacket...because I wanted you to see a ghost from your past. While you were going off the deep end, I TOOK this jacket and I wore it...to spite you...to slight you…
...and that was wrong…Jack Russow: At the end of the day you were still, flesh and blood, my father. But even taking THAT away...nobody could take your legacy. Nobody DESERVES to touch what you’ve done in a 20 year career that’s seen you do it ALL! And what did I do? I ran away...I shirked my responsibilities at home...I chose the road, I chose music, I chose each and every thing I knew would piss you off trying to get your attention and when THAT didn’t work…
(Jack almost winces at the thought looking at the jacket sliding it back onto the mannequin.)
Jack Russow: ...I did what I had to do. I did it for Mom...I did it for Alanah...I did it for Bella...you...you just...SNAPPED. You TRIED...to light BELLA...on FIRE. And just when I had carved a niche in the music world...just when I found exactly the means I needed to ignore what you’d become...you became a puppet of that...that…
Levi Russow: Speak freely son...Lord knows I deserve it.
(That causes Jack to whirl around with tears in his eyes.)
Jack Russow: YOU DIDN’T TURN INTO SOME SORT OF SADISTIC MONSTER!!! You turned into something WORSE...MUCH...MUCH WORSE. The snarling, hurting innocent people, the blood and the horror and all of the BULLSHIT that snake charmer tried to pedal THAT WASN’T THE MONSTER.
(Jack paces back and forth pulling at his hair as Emma steps forward to try and comfort him but she’s gently pulled back by Levi.)
Levi Russow: ...keep going.
Jack Russow: Keep going? KEEP GOING? FINE. Where do I START! Trying to light Bella on fire is just the tip of the iceberg. That was never gonna happen. I was never gonna LET that happen! I don’t fear you. I don’t fear you physically, intimidatingly, corporeally...I knew who had my back I KNEW...WHO MY FAMILY WAS...because I CHOSE THEM. The worst part about it?
...was the look in your eyes while you were doing it…
(Levi winces a bit when Jack mentions that as Jack runs his hands through his hair closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down.)
Jack Russow: ...you wanted it. It wasn’t Syn’s idea, it was YOURS. And WHY? Because Bella had a different OPINION than you did? Because she started seeing a guy you deemed “unworthy”? You are NOT her father. But you WERE a father FIGURE. *Jack’s voice begins to break* How many times...how many times did she sit on your lap and call you “Unca Levi”...how many times, while you adults were plotting your next storylines were we in the background playing? How many towns did we get dragged to, where we didn’t know anybody but it was okay! Because we had each other! The Madison’s...named their SON after you! Aaron LEVI Madison! And how did you repay them? Burn the witch, right?
(Jack looks back at the jacket...sniffling but with a grin on his face.)
Jack Russow: ...but I did it. Against all odds, I stopped you at every turn. You beat the ever loving shit out of me and put me in the hospital but you DID. NOT. WIN. I took that beating...because you didn’t get Bella, you didn’t get Alanah, you didn’t get Mack...and you weren’t gonna stop. You were prepared to KILL me until…
(Jack walks over and takes Emma’s hand kissing it and holding it tight.)
Jack Russow: Mom saved me...mom’s always saved me when you’ve gone off the deep end. When you did that fucked up storyline where we all “died” and I wasn’t allowed to see my aunts and uncles anymore? Do you know what that does to a kid dragged up and down the road, country to country, with nobody but the other kids being dragged by their parents and you took THAT away from me! So NO!
(Jack looks back at the jackets again and gains a sense of calm about himself.)
Jack Russow: D’you know what they’re saying about me now? They’re saying it was all a ruse. They’re saying...that every beating I took...every hit that I felt...was all a lie. Because in my DEBUT MATCH...you fixed it on the spot. You gift-wrapped me my first victory, you LET me win my debut! Because I was the weakest link in my training class. You “coaxed me along” and made it SOOO easy. That’s why Miles Kasey hated my guts for the first few months I knew him! And trust me...I’m glad you’re back and all for the rest of the family’s sake but you and me?
(Jack winces and swallows hard before walking up to the jacket he just put back on the mannequin and straightening the collar.)
Jack Russow: Now I’ve gotta go out there against a ghost from YOUR past...and I gotta prove to the world that I’m not a silver-spoon fed “Legacy” that’s just gonna get everything handed to him. So what the Hell do I think I’M doing? I’m returning your history to it’s rightful spot...and leaving the past in the past. Any further questions?
(Levi kisses Emma’s forehead because she’s teared up and he limps into the room with a look of destroyed psyche on his face.)
Levi Russow: Are you done?
(Jack glares at Levi and shakes his head trying to ignore the tears in his eyes as Levi limps over to the jacket.)
Levi Russow: First Won The PWS International Championship. Lemme tell you somethin’ that might surprise you. When I look back and I see this jacket...I’m not reminded of that Championship win. Championships...they came and they went and yeah it was cool for awhile but when I look back...at THIS jacket. All I can see is my proudest achievement standing in the middle of that ring I love so much wearing it in complete defiance of my wishes.
(Levi takes the jacket off the mannequin and hands it back to Jack who doesn’t accept it.)
Levi Russow: ...you earned it. A long...long time ago. I just didn’t know how to tell you ‘cause if I did...it’d become real. I’d have to face the reality that you don’t need me anymore. And son...nobody, and I mean NOBODY...knows what they’re doing when it comes to this whole parenting thing. Nobody wrote a book about it, nobody teaches a class...ya make it up as ya go. And Jack…
(Levi sits down in one of the custom PPV event chairs with his face on it holding the jacket tight.)
Levi Russow: ...I didn’t do...ANYTHING right. I lost my way, I forced you to see me as a monster, I abandoned my family. I don’t even know the first thing about Charlie except that he likes to read. So I get it...I honestly and truly get it. If when you look down...deep down in your heart and all you find for me is hate and contempt. That’s okay! I deserve that. But what I wanted to do...was make sure you didn’t grow up ANYTHING like me.
Jack Russow: ...wh-...what do you mean?
Levi Russow: I never had a father...or a mother...so I had exactly NO clue how to be one! And when I had you and I lost your mother, God rest her soul...I was trapped! I had to keep working to keep us fed and alive...but I didn’t know nothin’ other than THIS. And I didn’t WANT that for you! I wanted you to grow up...safe, educated, with a stable background. I wanted to give you the biggest trust fund I could because I wanted to give you the childhood I never had! And it backfired on me...because while I was so busy trying to give you that...I neglected to give you the one thing you actually wanted.
...
time.(Levi looks at the jacket and he throws it across the room.)
Levi Russow: You don’t want it...you don’t gotta take it. I understand. You never wanna speak to me again? I get that too. I just...I wanted to tell ya...to STOP listening to those keyboard warriors on the internet! STOP listening to anyone trying to put a finger in your face and tell you that you’ll never be me! STOP trying to be the “NEXT” Levi Russow and be the FIRST “JACK” Russow! And whether you like it or not...Imma be here. I’ll watch from the wings behind a curtain if I have to. But none of that is gonna matter because you are JACK FUCKIN’ RUSSOW. You are the second generation of badass motherfuckers! And maybe I pushed you so hard because I saw it, they saw it, even your HATERS see it whether they want to or not. You are the BEST of us! If you wanted an educated life, a sensible 9 to 5 life I’da bragged I raised the best Goddamn accountant on the East Coast but if you wanted THIS life...my work was never cut out for me. Because I was molding legendary clay. So forget that jacket...it wasn’t good enough for you anyway…
(Emma reaches behind the doorway and pulls out a box handing it to Levi who walks up to Jack.)
Levi Russow: ...I figure...you come this far in a jacket from someone else’s memories...maybe it’s time you have one to start makin’ your own.
(Levi takes the top off the box and inside is a leather studded jacket with purple trim and the Russow family crest in the middle of the back of it. One shoulder is sleeveless with a silver shoulder pad and the other side has the distinct features of a RockNRolla style jacket. Jack pulls it out of the box and looks at it with wide-eyed wonder.)
Emma Russow: ...well go on! At least try it on!
(Levi takes it and holds the jacket open for his son who slides into it...it fits like a glove. Jack takes a moment to admire all the detail in it before beaming ear to ear.)
Jack Russow: ...how do I look?
Levi Russow: ...like a God...Damn...Russow.
(Jack suddenly feels a wave of emotion and throws his arms around Levi’s neck which catches Levi off guard at first but he wraps his arms around his son and the fiercely hug each other for the first time in forever.)
Jack Russow: ...I forgive you...I love you Dad.
Levi Russow: I’d die for ya kid...I love you so friggin’ much it scares me but you...you go show ‘em just who the Hell you ARE!
Scene Fades
-For Everything That Isn’t Me-
“I coulda been a better brother…
I coulda been a better son…
I’m sorry for the pain I caused you…
And all the worries that I gave you mom.”
(The scene opens to the inside of Jack and Alanah’s apartment where Jack has a game controller viciously mashing the buttons.)
Jack Russow: Oh God I am KILLING you right now man!
(The camera pans over to show Pip the Papillon laying with a controller between his paws just...staring at Jack.)
Jack Russow: No I ASKED you and you PICKED this level.
(Pip lays his head down pouting.)
Jack Russow: Well whose fault is that!? I asked you if you wanted THIS or the new Call of Duty and YOU said, and I quote “Call of Duty is for scrub lords!”
(Jack suddenly notices the camera and hits pause before leaning over to Pip and fiercely whispering…)
Jack Russow: Don’t you think we’re done here just ‘cause daddy’s gotta go to work…
(Pip glares at him and jumps off the couch as Alanah calls from the next room.)
Alanah O’Connell: JACK, HONEY...I STARTED THE NEW ROOMBA SO MAKE SURE TO INTRODUCE PIP TO IT BEFORE IT SCARES HIM, PLEASE.
(Jack looks towards where her voice is coming from...and then back at the camera.)
Jack Russow: So this is it then? I just...start talking?
(We hear vicious snarling in the background as we see Pip discover the Roomba as he begins chasing it out of the shot.)
Jack Russow: Alright y’know what? I’m just gonna cut the bullshit because I could start this video off and say “I’m so great, I beat a Hall of Famer in my debut match” even though A) that Hall of Famer was my father and B) We kinda threw the match...I COULD do that. But I’m not...because I’m not taking the easy way around. See I debuted for this company in 2019 unofficially...and since that time I’ve sat back and watched every single one of my friends THRIVE in that ring. I’ve watched my darling Alanah go from gentle Irish Rose to making her opponents feel her thrashing thorns. She even beat Milo...the BEST in MY class...to become the new United Champion! And I gotta tell you all the pride and love I felt...it was indescribable. And then I thought about what it would feel like from HER point of view. Because before THAT...I watched my blade-twirling psychotic best friend drag everyone Star Stormz LET him face into what basically accounted into a snuff film and here’s the thing...NO ONE...has beaten him. He’s your reigning Collateral Damage champion!
(In the background we hear Pip yelping as he takes off running for his life as the Roomba chases him from right to left in the background.)
Jack Russow: And THEN...AND. THEN. I watched a man I started off...absolutely detesting. I wished harm and misfortune upon this man more than I have whenever that thin-lipped, Cheeto dusted dipshit overtakes my TV for a State of the Union Ring address. But I had to play NICE...because COINCIDENTALLY…
...I was in love with his sister.(Cue filtered in “live audience” gasp)
Jack Russow: But something happened...something I called ALL ALONG. See first Mack got a hold of him...and he was...QUITE different after that little soiree. And then over in some other company I can’t legally say Alanah’s OTHER brother...y’know...the hot one I actually LIKE...you remember, he was the ONLY OUTSIDER with the balls to step to Mack’s open challenge. HE apparently finally beat the FUCK outta Malachi and ever since then...mixed with the voodoo vagina magic Bells has worked on him...I was even pretty stoked when MALACHI won the World Championship! And then Mack SOMEHOW...SOME FUCKING HOW...found a GIRL that like...LOVES him. And she got a job as our new seamstress! EVERYTHING was comin’ up roses for EVERYONE in our little neck of the woods! EVERYONE…
...except
me.
(All of a sudden in the background we suddenly see the Roomba roll by...with Pip riding on the back of it...and inexplicably we hear “Low Rider” by War playing as they pass...even Jack stops and follows them with his eyes slowly out of the frame before shaking his head.)
Jack Russow: Russow promo. What else did you expect? Which brings me to my next point. The NOW. I sat on the sidelines in 2019 playing cheerleader for everyone I loved and to some extent...others I tolerated. But I had my share of memorable moments! Mostly stopping my brainwashed father from lighting my best friend on fire and then getting sent to the hospital for trying to get through to him only to be saved by my mo-look this all sounded better in my head, can we like...take 2 here?
Cameraman: It’s uhh...it’s live.
Jack Russow: Well...shit.
(Jack runs his fingers through his hair until he looks over to the nearby chair and sees his new ring jacket...and he hears his mom and dad’s words in his head. And all of a sudden...like a lightning bolt...promo class made sense.)
Jack Russow: You are right FUCKED in the head if you think I’m gonna stand on the sidelines and wave through a window in 2020...is my point. See, hey man...I get it. I get all the calls and the e-mails and the tweets. “That wasn’t a real match” “Jack Russow can’t really wrestle” “He’s better off holding Alanah’s purse” and I thought about it for a really, really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME. AND I DECIDED TO STEP UP...AND PUT MYSELF IN LINE...AND SHOW YOU WHAT THIS REAL RUSSOW SHIT IS ALL ABOUT! So who do they give me first? Who is my GRAND COMING OUT MATCH!?
...D-...
Damon.
Jack Russow: Not Matt Damon...not Johnny Damon...not even Damon Wayans. Just...Damon.
(Jack wildly runs his hand over his face before starting to rock back and forth smacking his knee before he stands up and begins pacing around the room.)
Jack Russow: Bella’s second generation...you’re giving her great shots against upcoming talent. Gracie Lopez is THIRD generation, she’s known all over the globe, and ME...the first SECOND GENERATION OF RUSSOW...the most DOMINANT family name in this industries history and the BEST you can give me is some grumpy little fossil from the past that couldn’t even breach to the main event! And what, like ten years later you bring him back and he throws a sucker punch at Mike O’Neil and all of a sudden he’s “your guy” and he’s “different” and he’s the one to watch out for so you throw him to ME...ME...like I’m supposed to be some SQUASH MATCH for this monotoned little imp!? READ...MY LIPS...DAMON.
(Jack hurdles his coffee table and grabs ahold of the camera acting a little unhinged.)
Jack Russow: See Damon I don’t know why you’re back, I don’t know what you’re plans are and quite frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. You wanna sucker Mike O’Neil? By all means, shoot your shot anytime you see him ‘cause if I know him and I THINK I just might...HE’S gonna clean your fuckin’ clock too. But in the meantime? I guess I’ll just have to do him a solid and sock you in the face so hard your eyebrows actually PART. ‘Cause I’m not the one...it’s not ME. I...am NOT the one to come back and make your name on. And you are NOT the legend I wanted to use as the first stepping stone on my path to being the GREATEST PERIOD RUSSOW PERIOD EVER PERIOD!
(The Roomba is back in the middle of the room with Pip still riding it...but it’s started just turning in circles and Pip starts to look concerned as Lady watches, perched at the top of the couch just judging him and Potato is asleep in the corner with all four legs spread in the air.)
Jack Russow: I mean...how am I supposed to fight a ghost? I’m supposed to cut this big, scathing promo on a shock return from the past and all I’ve found out is you were so boring nobody’s even put your old matches up on YOUTUBE! If they hadn’t told me who you were after you suckered Mike, I’d have thought a fan just bum-rushed him because you are JUST. THAT. ORDINARY. I heard you speak, I fell asleep. I watched you fight, I went to pee I saw you win the Unified Championship or the United championship who the fuck even knows anymore and all I remember is how BORING it was watching you and David Shane fondle each other like a couple of Catholic Co-Eds on Skinemax. What? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to SAY about you? No one’s given me any notes! No one’s told me anything’s off limits! So here’s MY plan...MY plan is to show up, Russow Style. My plan is to GEAR up, Russow Style, and then I’m going to BEAT the EVER-LOVING FUCK out of you...RUSSOW STYLE! Because I am SICK of hearing all the chatter I’m just a handout! I am SICK of all the talking heads that never shut the FUCK up saying I don’t have what it takes! I am SICK of being called the weak link of this new generation and most of all...most of all...I am SICK...of APOLOGIZING...FOR BEING A RUSSOW!!!
I am NOT a runt. I am NOT second rate. And I am NOT a handout! I AM the son of a street dog. I AM the bloodline of champions. And I AM gonna show you JUST how “Russow” I can get! SO LET’S GO DAMON! YOU WANNA BE RELEVANT AGAIN? I’M YOUR HUCKLEBERRY! I’M DONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY LAST NAME!!! YOU WANT SOME RUSSOW SHIT!? I WILL *SHOW* YOU SOME RUSSOW SHIT!
(Jack starts laughing and holds up a waving finger.)
Jack Russow: On second thought...maybe I better have Laura text you the address to the arena again just in case. All the Old Gods say you were kinda notorious for missing flights and ghosting bookings. Don’t you worry...if you don’t show up, I’ll chalk it up to “old age and irrelevancy” instead of the actual “you’re scared you can’t hack it anymore because you can’t” reason. So until I see ya...you keep workin’ on that sweet 80’s Rocky montage of how you’re training to beat me! I’M going back to kickin’ my dogs ass in Smash Bros.
...even though he chooses Kirby EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME AND IT’S NOT FAIR!!!
(The scene ends with Alanah walking in and lifting a very queasy Pip off of the Roomba, which has now been named Burt, and walking over to curl up next to Jack lecturing him as Lady jumps down and cuddles Alanah and Potato potatoes in the corner as the cameraman exits the room and we fade to black.)
“I don’t regret the things I’ve done...
They made me what I am, you see…
I can’t apologize forever…
...for everything that isn’t me.”