Post by Spinelli on Jul 27, 2019 1:02:06 GMT -5
So...this is what hell feels like...
(Scene fades in inside a dark hotel room with only the sunlight peeking around the curtains.)
The perennial loser strikes again. Never to know why he can never seem to get ahead in what will forever be the loneliest life known to mankind.
(The camera pans across the room as we see the bed is messed up and there appears to be a lump on the left side. We move in closer to see the very depressed Spinelli with scruff on his face about 3 days old.)
Spinelli: He is so pathetic that even his own inner monologue can’t even be given a proper voice over.
(Spinelli sighs and looks up as he hears his phone buzz but just doesn’t have the want to even answer.)
Spinelli: The Jackal is and forever will be disgraced by his own doing. If only he had heeded the words of the wise Anarchistic Renegade, I, the Jackal would be still wooing the Beautiful one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Wavey lines...get it?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNOCK KNOCK
Male Voice: One minute!
Female Voice: How is it we rarely get a moments worth of peace?
Male Voice: Since we got friends...
Female Voice: Oh yeah...
(After a few moments the door opens as we see Nick looking at Spinelli who is on the other side of the door)
Nick Madison: Well hey there Spinelli.
Spinelli: Gracious Greetings to the Anarchistic Renegade.
(Laura peeks around and sees Spinelli standing there)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...is there something wrong?
Spinelli: Quite the contrary Valkyrie, the Jackal was hoping to perhaps speak with the Renegade for just a few moments.
Laura Phoenix: Oh...well...I guess I can just head to the gym.
Spinelli: Oh Valkyrie, you can stay...
Laura Phoenix: Iiiii rather not, if it’s about what I think it’s about I’m just gonna run while I can.
(Laura grabs her bag and before she leaves gives Nick a kiss.)
Laura Phoenix: You comin’ after the talk?
Nick Madison: Sure babe, shouldn’t be....
(Nick takes a look at Spinelli.)
Nick Madison: Too terribly long...
Spinelli: The Jackal assures the Anarchistic Renegade that no more time than is necessary will be taken.
Laura Phoenix: Uh huh, well we’ll see about that. You be nice to him and I’ll see you guys later.
(Laura heads out the door leaving Spinelli and Nick in the room by themselves)
Nick Madison: So, uh....what’s up?
Spinelli: The...uhhh the Jackal needs the assistance of the Renegade to...well...you know how the Jackal had coffee with the Beautiful Breeze?
Nick Madison: Yeah...
Spinelli: Ok, well the Jackal is considering asking the Beautiful Blonde one to the after party for King of the Ring and he really doesn’t want to...well he embarrassed himself the last time he was alone in her presence and I don’t know if it would be wise, even if the Jackal’s chances with her is the equivalent of a snowballs chance in Hades, for it to happen again. To make a long story short, the Jackal has come to ask for the assistance of the Anarchistic Renegade...to help win the affections of the Beautiful Breeze.
Nick Madison: Okay.....so.....you wanna know what you need to do to hook up with Breeze?
(Spinelli shrugs a bit almost agreeing but looking shy and frantic all in the same breath and he begins to pace the room.)
Spinelli: In essence. Yes. But not “hook up” per say...the Jackal wants to know her as say...well not as well as you know the Valkyrie or Valiant One knows the Fair Camelot. But she is far too beautiful to be so lonely. The Jackal sees it and it’s not so much her outside that is beautiful because she is, but her soul...that...glorious soul...
Nick Madison: Dude....let’s face it...you’ve caught it.
(Spinelli stops dead in his tracks and looks at Madison)
Spinelli: It?
Nick Madison: Yup, you caught a liking to Ms. Breeze.
Spinelli: Perhaps it’s true, The Jackal just...can’t make himself out to be the perennial fool out of himself like he did the last time. Calling her... “perfect” obviously was insulting to her in some way...just...help me please.
Nick Madison: Alright....it’s time you learned a few laws of the land.
(Spinelli looked at Nick with a confused expression.)
Spinelli: Laws of the land?
Nick Madison: Yup, the land of chicks. Tis a dark and deadly world, and confusing as all hell to survive in.
Spinelli:....is there going to be a point in which the Anarchist Renegade gets to the words of encouragement?
Nick Madison: Lesson number 1....always flatter a girl, but never too much. You give them compliments, but never too much. Especially if you’re just trying to win their attention. You know...do nice things for her, say she looks great today, or that....I don’t know....compliment her hair, or her eyes...uhhhh....you can say she looks pretty or gorgeous....but you can’t just go out and tell her she’s perfect....that freaks them out. Mainly cause it can come across as you sounding a bit like a crazy stalker guy, and we don’t want that.
Spinelli: So that’s why the Beautiful one was perhaps a little taken back by the Jackal’s words during their coffee session?
Nick Madison: Uh....yeah.....if I had to say, that woulda been my guess.
Spinelli: The Jackal just feels...so inadequate around her. She smiles at me, she talks to me and I just babble away like some computer savvy geekoid from another planet....just...The Jackal feels as if maybe a change of character might be in order.
Nick Madison: Damn, man....you got it bad. You just gotta lighten up and be...well....you....but nowhere near as uptight. You’re a good guy, man. And I’m sure Breeze sees that. Laura sure as hell does with as much as she trusts you.
Spinelli: The Valkyrie has a 6th sense about people’s characters and is rarely wrong as you well know, the Beautiful one though...so the Jackal needs to be more like the Renegade. Going with the flow....yes, the Grasshopper knows what he must do.
Nick Madison: Well, the first thing you gotta do is learn to loosen up. I know she makes you nervous, but that’s like...a sixth sense that all women have...and it’s not always a good thing to be nervous. You gotta believe that you’re the one she wants to spend time with, that you’re the one she wants. You got to have confidence, man. You think I won Laura over by being shy and stumbling over my words?
Spinelli: No, if the Jackal recalls correctly, it was the Renegade’s bad boy good looks but deep and layered interior which won the Valkyrie’s affection.
Nick Madison:.....dude.....
Spinelli: The Valkyrie talks to the Jackal quite a lot....even about stuff I might not want to hear....
Nick Madison: I know the feeling, man. But yeah, you gotta be able to believe in yourself before you can expect anyone else to. Ya know what I mean?
Spinelli: I...The Jackal believes so. But here is the quandary that the grasshopper deals with....I, Spinelli, have a hard time believing in myself. It took gumption to even go to the Valkyrie the first time and still to this day I feel...different. The Jackal wants to be, normal...shyness, the embellishment of the english language...these are things that Spinelli uses to be even remotely accepted into society.
Nick Madison: Can I ask you something?
Spinelli: Of course.
Nick Madison: Why do you talk like that exactly?
Spinelli: Well, the Jackal has an appreciation for the English language, thus the large vocabulary. As for the, now rightfully named Spinelli-isms, the Jackal has always done that. It’s just something that makes me, Demetrius Spinelli at ease in the wild world.
Nick Madison: Well, I can’t say you’d be....you....without it, I just always wondered I suppose. But yeah, just be yourself around Breeze..lighten up and everything will be fine.
Spinelli: The Jackal thinks he understands. I shall heed the wise words of the Anarchistic Renegade and come the party, the Jackal will win the affections of the Beautiful Breeze.
Nick Madison: Good deal, man....now uh...I better go check with Laura...cause you know how she gets when I keep her waiting.
Spinelli: Yes...yes I do. The Jackal shall bid the Renegade adu.
Nick Madison: See ya later man.
(Nick and Spinelli shake hands, before Nick leaves to catch up with Laura.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to present day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spinelli: If only the Jackal had just heeded the words. Then Demetrius would have never reared his ugly head.
PART 2
(Scene fades in as we rejoin Spinelli locked in his hotel room)
Spinelli: Faithful night arrived, finally after a long grueling 7 days, had the entire moment planned to perfection. The Jackal was on his way....and then...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Again with the wavey lines~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(We now join the King of the Ring after party in full swing. We see Jesse and Nick chatting with beers in their hands. Cameron is trying to keep Laura, who started drinking in advance, under some semblance of control.)
Cameron O'Neil:: Laur, come on we are here to celebrate Levi’s win and to just relax and unwind. You are already pissed off and too much alcohol is not gonna be good for anyone.
Laura Phoenix: I am...perfectly fine...besides I don’t wanna go anywhere til Spinelli shows up with Breeze.
(As almost as if on command, The Iceman Levi Russow comes darting by on a rascal scooter spraying champagne everywhere and screaming the lyrics “We Are The Champions” at the top of his lungs as the rascal screeches to a halt and he shoots a clicking wink and a single gun finger at Cam and Laura as the Rascal jolts to life again.)
Cameron O'Neil:: Though if Levi keeps it up, Jesse is going to kill him and then where will we be?
(Breeze walks through the door and sneaks up on the crew from behind.)
Breeze: Sup guys?!
Laura Phoenix: THERE you are! What the hell took you guys so long?
Breeze: He got us lost...
Laura Phoenix: He has GPS on this phone...how the hell was that even possible?
Breeze: Well, I have no idea.
Cameron O'Neil:: It’s Spinelli, I swear that kid needs GPS for own home.
Breeze: He should be coming in, in a few seconds. He was out looking for a parking spot.
Laura Phoenix: Was everything ok coming over from the arena?
Breeze: Yeah, But he’s not much of a talker though.
Cameron O'Neil:: ....I can never seem to get the kid to shut up when he’s around me.
Laura Phoenix: Ditto...man he must be smitten with you, Breeze.
Breeze: Could be, who knows.
(Just at that moment, Jesse Russow and Nick Madison walk up to the ladies.)
Jesse Russow: Leave the poor boy alone...he’s scared of you, Breezy!
(Breeze just shook her head at Jesse with a small smile.)
Breeze: I don’t see why.
Cameron O'Neil:: He’s intimidated. There’s a difference.
Laura Phoenix: Well, here’s hoping his talk with Nick got through to him.
Nick Madison: Yeah, we’ll see.
Cameron O'Neil:: Where is he though? I mean I know you said he was parking but this is long for him.
(Laura looks around and stops dead and her eyes widen)
Laura Phoenix: What...the...
(Cameron turns around and has the same reaction)
Cameron O'Neil:: Uhh...guys...
Jesse Russow: HOLY MEN’S WEARHOUSE BATMAN!
(We see Spinelli walking in but instead of his usual baggie khaki’s and shirts, he’s in a fitted black suit with sunglasses on his face)
Laura Phoenix: Nick...what the hell did you do?!?!
Nick Madison: I.....uh.....uhm....what?
(Jesse turns and looks at Nick)
Jesse Russow: . . .does he have a flashy thing from Men in Black? HAVE YOU EVER FLASHY THINGED ME!?
(Cameron slaps Jesse upside the head as Spinelli walks up to the group with a drink in his hand)
Spinelli: Gracious Gre- I mean, hey guys.
Laura Phoenix: Hey- ...guys? Spinelli...what the hell is this?
Spinelli: What do you mean?
Cameron O'Neil:: You...look...different and...
Breeze: ....I had nothing to do with this.
Spinelli: I’ve always had this suit. You guys don’t like it?
(Laura looks at Spinelli and back to everyone.)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...
Spinelli: Please Laura, call me Demetrius.
Laura Phoenix: .........Demetrius uhm....what the hell is this?
Jesse Russow: This must be what going mad feels like...
Spinelli: Well, I spoke with Nick the other day and he said, I should...be myself. He pointed out that how I handled myself may have been....unusual. This should be me...
Cameron O'Neil:: I...I am floored here. Spinelli...what are you drinking?
(Spinelli holds up his drink and looks at it for a moment)
Spinelli: Vodka on the rocks with a hard twist of lime.
Laura Phoenix: What...what the hell happen to your orange soda?
Spinelli: I felt that if you are all engaging in a round of drinks I should as well.
(Spinelli slams it back before anyone can stop him)
Spinelli: Breeze, what would you like to drink. This round is on me.
Jesse Russow: . . .no I take that back, THIS must be what going mad feels like.
(Breeze looked at Spinelli with a raised eyebrow, and shook her head.)
Breeze: I’m good right now, I don’t really drink alcohol all that much, But you can get me a soda if you wish.
Spinelli: As you wish. If you all would excuse me.
(Spinelli walks away as the group stands there in shock)
Laura Phoenix: What the hell are we seeing here?
Breeze: A new changed version of Spinelli?
Jesse Russow: I think I need a CAT scan...Nick do we need CAT scans?
Nick Madison: I.....I....
(Nick downs his drink quickly and slams it down on the table.)
Nick Madison: I need about ten more drinks...STAT!
Laura Phoenix: Ditto and make them doubles.
(Just then The Iceman Levi Russow comes walking up with a wide-eyed, bewildered look on his face.)
The Iceman Levi Russow: Uhh...Laura? I don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news or nothin’ but...I think your nerd’s broken.
Cameron O'Neil:: Broken? More like he blew a damn circuit. Nick...you gotta tell us what the hell did you say to him?
Nick Madison: Shit, I was JUST trying to remember myself...I just told the kid to lighten up a bit....and a few other things....I guess he just....uh....took them the wrong way?
Jesse Russow: Wrong way? You sure?
Nick Madison: You’re right, I think I could get used to this Spinelli...
(Just then, Spinelli walks back with a round of drinks for the entire table, along with a soda for Breeze.)
Spinelli: This one’s on me, guys.
Nick Madison: Oh yeah....definitely could like this.
Laura Phoenix: Demetrius, what brought on this...sudden change?
Jesse Russow: Are you on the drugs, son?
Spinelli: Quite the contrary, Valiant....uhh, Jesse, just I had an epiphany. I needed to just realize that being the way I was, wasn’t helping my life.
The Iceman Levi Russow: . . .HO-KAY! That’s enough of the “What The Fuck” Family for ME! TALLY-HO!
(Levi jumps back on his rascal and chugs a bottle of champagne as he rolls away.)
Laura Phoenix: I don’t know who’s weirder, him or Spinelli.
Jesse Russow: Straight up...best not to ask.
Breeze: I think they both are....but that’s just me.
(Spinelli seems to be taken back by what Breeze says)
Spinelli: Don’t you like this new look?
Breeze: It’s going to take some time to get used too....I don’t mean to offend.
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...I...can I talk to you over here? Now?
(Spinelli looks at Laura and nods and they walk over to a corner of the bar by themselves)
Laura Phoenix: Ok, you have to let me in on the joke. What the hell is going on here?
Spinelli: The Valkyrie need not worry for I have everything well under control.
Laura Phoenix: Under control...Spinelli, you are drinking Vodka with lime when you never had a drop of alcohol in your life. You look like something out of GQ magazine. Top it off you are acting like a regular person. What the hell is going on in your head? Especially because you are so far off from normal and that’s the one thing we all love about you.
Spinelli: The Jackal is trying to show the Beautiful one that I can also be normal. I want to be able to make her feel comfortable with me. Being this eccentric computer geek didn’t do me any good before, why should it start now?
(Breeze heard what was said from the corner, she seemed a bit taken back of what was said and shook her head. She walked back towards the group and grabbed her jacket and started to head away before someone in the group caught her.)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli, you are unique in the only way you can be. Breeze likes you but you putting on this facade won’t help your case.
Spinelli: The Jackal thinks you are mistaken.
Laura Phoenix: Ya think so?
(Laura just shakes her head and turns around to rejoin the group and Spinelli follows behind. Laura looks to Nick with just frustration on her face.)
Laura Phoenix: I give up trying to talk to him.
Nick Madison: Babe, even this is a shock to me....and look at him. I mean he’s not use to drinking...he’s...
Laura Phoenix: You think he’s drunk already?
Nick Madison: Kid is a 180 pounds soaking wet...
(Spinelli looks around)
Spinelli: Breeze? Has anyone seen where Breeze ran off too?
Jesse Russow: I wonder if they have karaoke...
Cameron O'Neil:: I don’t know Spinelli, she was here one minute and gone the next.
(As if by clockwork we hear the screeching of the Rascal again as a VERY inebriated Iceman Levi Russow skids to a halt.)
The Iceman Levi Russow: The Breezy lady gon’ with the wind...
Jesse Russow: Oh for God’s sakes Levi, speak ENGLISH!
The Iceman Levi Russow: Nom pella toppy cocker!
Jesse Russow: Did you SEE where Breeze went?
The Iceman Levi Russow: Outsizzide.
(Spinelli’s face drops and before anyone can say anything to him he takes off running into people on the way out the door. He gets outside and frantically looks around but Breeze is nowhere in sight. He runs his hands through his scraggly hair before sitting on the steps of the building and hiding his face in his hands.)
Spinelli: ...Oh God what have I done.
PART 3
(Scene fades in as we hear footsteps staggering along the pier, we see a pair of dress shoes as we hear a familiar voice singing a song)
Spinelli: Come on to my lady
My lady is as fair as can be
(Spinelli falls to his knees before laying on the cement of the pier and stretching out)
Spinelli: She is been absent of light
Together somewhere we will...be
(His head moves and he sees something silver and glowing in the light, he reaches out and grabs it and it’s a bracelet)
Spinelli: Shiny...shiny bangle. Perhaps lost in haste at the stroke of midnight.
(He turns over onto his back and holds it up)
Spinelli: WHOEVER’S FRAGILE WRIST THIS FITS SHALL BE MY OWN CINDERELLA!
Female Voice: I guess that’s me.
(Spinelli quickly looks up to see Trisha Lee Moore walking up to him and kneels down next to him but Spinelli quickly backs away)
Spinelli: Vixenella, daughter of darkness, please do not unleash your scary fury, we mean no harm.
(Trisha looks around for a moment)
Trisha Lee Moore: We?
Spinelli: Yeah...um...the Jackal and Demetrius...
Trisha Lee Moore: Oh, ok...I know you call yourself the Jackal, for some reason. Who’s Demetrius?
Spinelli: Is me as well...we’re both personas, equally socially inept but neither a thief.
(Spinelli opens up the silver bracelet and helps Trisha put it back on as she looks at the very inebriated Spinelli with amusement)
Trisha Lee Moore: I think you’ve had a lil to much to drink.
Spinelli: I may be somewhat under the influence but alas, not enough to forget that being perennial loser is not as bad as momentarily reaching the pinnacle of manhood only to plummet to the hell of geekdom ONCE MORE!
(Spinelli falls to his back on the pier but turns over and pulls himself up)
Spinelli: The Anarchist Renegade, finally offered a workable paradigm, ya know? The clothes, the attitude, it finally all started to make sense....
Trisha Lee Moore: Not to meeee.
Spinelli: No, it was nothing short of a miracle how, how effective Demetrius was. He...he, he was supremely confident, and he knew the right things to say, so Spinelli could relax and stay out of the way and hand it over to Demetrius, who could...hold a drink..all NIGHT, without spilling it or becoming inebriated.
Trisha Lee Moore: Who’s Demetrius?
Spinelli: I thought I told you...
(Spinelli leans back and sits on whatever is available but drops a little too fast causing him to make a painful groan as Trisha reaches out to balance him)
Spinelli: It is I, the Jackal...or at least it was for one bright shining moment but now I am once again me...the Jackal...heh...hapless Spinelli.
(Spinelli reaches out and holds on to Trisha arm looking at her bracelet)
Trisha Lee Moore: You know..
Spinelli: But, you know the worse part of this whole thing was that the facade was...the facade crumbled right in front of the one person it was meant for.
(He lays his head on Trisha arm and it’s obvious that she is really confused and a little uncomfortable)
Trisha Lee Moore: Ya...you know the only thing I got out of that is that your not use to drinking.
Spinelli: Oh don’t worry, it will pass, the dizziness will pass. I’ll just sit here and...
(Spinelli almost falls off the pier but Trisha grabs at him)
Trisha Lee Moore: NO! No no no...
(She finally gets him under control and holds him tight)
Trisha Lee Moore: Ok, you are coming with me...I’m gonna get you to the hotel ok? I’m gonna take you to the hotel. Come on...
(Scene fades as Trisha tries to put Spinelli on her back to carry him but he stumbles and falls to the ground in a fit of laughter.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Scene fades back in as we see Nick Madison crossing the room in the dead of night.)
Nick Madison: Yeah yeah...I’m fucking coming....3AM...this shit is getting old.
(He gets to door turning on a light so he can see better and he opens the door and gets greeted by the site of the ass of Spinelli as he is thrown over the shoulder of Trisha in a fireman carry. She walks right in and dumps him on the couch.)
Nick Madison: What the hell Trisha?
Trisha Lee Moore: Found your nerd, brought him back but since I didn’t know what hotel room he was at I brought him here. ...where’s Phoenix?
Nick Madison: She passed out a while ago. Drank a lot...
Trisha Lee Moore: What the hell, is it like a requirement for everyone in your group to be fall down drunks?
Nick Madison: Not even gonna dignify that with an answer...thank you for bringing Spinelli to here instead of letting him rot on the streets.
Trisha Lee Moore: Whatever...I saw him and figured I’d get my good deed out of the way for the day.
(From the background in the hotel room we hear Spinelli laughing)
Spinelli: Vixenella did a nice thing....
Nick Madison: Go back to sleep Spinelli.
Spinelli: Renegade don’t be so angry, the Vixenella was most surprisingly helpful tonight after your grasshopper found himself inexplicably on the pier without a memory of how he got there. She rendered him aid and comfort.
Nick Madison: What did you do to him?
Trisha Lee Moore: Nothing, I found him like this. On the pier, he was going to lay down and sleep there. I thought he’d be a sitting duck...
(Spinelli hops up from the couch)
Spinelli: Demetrius can hold his liquor...
(He stumbles as Nick and Trisha both catch his arm and helps him back down)
Spinelli: Alas the Jackal cannot...
Trisha Lee Moore: My suggestion is you call down to room service order this kid some carbs...
Nick Madison: I was just thinking that. Thanks...I guess.
Trisha Lee Moore: Anytime...Spinelli, I’ll see ya around ok?
(Spinelli has begun to curl up on the couch clutching the pillow)
Spinelli: Bye bye...
(Trisha looks at Nick before heading out of the room and shutting the door behind her and Nick looks down at Spinelli fast asleep once again and just shakes his head)
(Scene fades in inside a dark hotel room with only the sunlight peeking around the curtains.)
The perennial loser strikes again. Never to know why he can never seem to get ahead in what will forever be the loneliest life known to mankind.
(The camera pans across the room as we see the bed is messed up and there appears to be a lump on the left side. We move in closer to see the very depressed Spinelli with scruff on his face about 3 days old.)
Spinelli: He is so pathetic that even his own inner monologue can’t even be given a proper voice over.
(Spinelli sighs and looks up as he hears his phone buzz but just doesn’t have the want to even answer.)
Spinelli: The Jackal is and forever will be disgraced by his own doing. If only he had heeded the words of the wise Anarchistic Renegade, I, the Jackal would be still wooing the Beautiful one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Wavey lines...get it?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNOCK KNOCK
Male Voice: One minute!
Female Voice: How is it we rarely get a moments worth of peace?
Male Voice: Since we got friends...
Female Voice: Oh yeah...
(After a few moments the door opens as we see Nick looking at Spinelli who is on the other side of the door)
Nick Madison: Well hey there Spinelli.
Spinelli: Gracious Greetings to the Anarchistic Renegade.
(Laura peeks around and sees Spinelli standing there)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...is there something wrong?
Spinelli: Quite the contrary Valkyrie, the Jackal was hoping to perhaps speak with the Renegade for just a few moments.
Laura Phoenix: Oh...well...I guess I can just head to the gym.
Spinelli: Oh Valkyrie, you can stay...
Laura Phoenix: Iiiii rather not, if it’s about what I think it’s about I’m just gonna run while I can.
(Laura grabs her bag and before she leaves gives Nick a kiss.)
Laura Phoenix: You comin’ after the talk?
Nick Madison: Sure babe, shouldn’t be....
(Nick takes a look at Spinelli.)
Nick Madison: Too terribly long...
Spinelli: The Jackal assures the Anarchistic Renegade that no more time than is necessary will be taken.
Laura Phoenix: Uh huh, well we’ll see about that. You be nice to him and I’ll see you guys later.
(Laura heads out the door leaving Spinelli and Nick in the room by themselves)
Nick Madison: So, uh....what’s up?
Spinelli: The...uhhh the Jackal needs the assistance of the Renegade to...well...you know how the Jackal had coffee with the Beautiful Breeze?
Nick Madison: Yeah...
Spinelli: Ok, well the Jackal is considering asking the Beautiful Blonde one to the after party for King of the Ring and he really doesn’t want to...well he embarrassed himself the last time he was alone in her presence and I don’t know if it would be wise, even if the Jackal’s chances with her is the equivalent of a snowballs chance in Hades, for it to happen again. To make a long story short, the Jackal has come to ask for the assistance of the Anarchistic Renegade...to help win the affections of the Beautiful Breeze.
Nick Madison: Okay.....so.....you wanna know what you need to do to hook up with Breeze?
(Spinelli shrugs a bit almost agreeing but looking shy and frantic all in the same breath and he begins to pace the room.)
Spinelli: In essence. Yes. But not “hook up” per say...the Jackal wants to know her as say...well not as well as you know the Valkyrie or Valiant One knows the Fair Camelot. But she is far too beautiful to be so lonely. The Jackal sees it and it’s not so much her outside that is beautiful because she is, but her soul...that...glorious soul...
Nick Madison: Dude....let’s face it...you’ve caught it.
(Spinelli stops dead in his tracks and looks at Madison)
Spinelli: It?
Nick Madison: Yup, you caught a liking to Ms. Breeze.
Spinelli: Perhaps it’s true, The Jackal just...can’t make himself out to be the perennial fool out of himself like he did the last time. Calling her... “perfect” obviously was insulting to her in some way...just...help me please.
Nick Madison: Alright....it’s time you learned a few laws of the land.
(Spinelli looked at Nick with a confused expression.)
Spinelli: Laws of the land?
Nick Madison: Yup, the land of chicks. Tis a dark and deadly world, and confusing as all hell to survive in.
Spinelli:....is there going to be a point in which the Anarchist Renegade gets to the words of encouragement?
Nick Madison: Lesson number 1....always flatter a girl, but never too much. You give them compliments, but never too much. Especially if you’re just trying to win their attention. You know...do nice things for her, say she looks great today, or that....I don’t know....compliment her hair, or her eyes...uhhhh....you can say she looks pretty or gorgeous....but you can’t just go out and tell her she’s perfect....that freaks them out. Mainly cause it can come across as you sounding a bit like a crazy stalker guy, and we don’t want that.
Spinelli: So that’s why the Beautiful one was perhaps a little taken back by the Jackal’s words during their coffee session?
Nick Madison: Uh....yeah.....if I had to say, that woulda been my guess.
Spinelli: The Jackal just feels...so inadequate around her. She smiles at me, she talks to me and I just babble away like some computer savvy geekoid from another planet....just...The Jackal feels as if maybe a change of character might be in order.
Nick Madison: Damn, man....you got it bad. You just gotta lighten up and be...well....you....but nowhere near as uptight. You’re a good guy, man. And I’m sure Breeze sees that. Laura sure as hell does with as much as she trusts you.
Spinelli: The Valkyrie has a 6th sense about people’s characters and is rarely wrong as you well know, the Beautiful one though...so the Jackal needs to be more like the Renegade. Going with the flow....yes, the Grasshopper knows what he must do.
Nick Madison: Well, the first thing you gotta do is learn to loosen up. I know she makes you nervous, but that’s like...a sixth sense that all women have...and it’s not always a good thing to be nervous. You gotta believe that you’re the one she wants to spend time with, that you’re the one she wants. You got to have confidence, man. You think I won Laura over by being shy and stumbling over my words?
Spinelli: No, if the Jackal recalls correctly, it was the Renegade’s bad boy good looks but deep and layered interior which won the Valkyrie’s affection.
Nick Madison:.....dude.....
Spinelli: The Valkyrie talks to the Jackal quite a lot....even about stuff I might not want to hear....
Nick Madison: I know the feeling, man. But yeah, you gotta be able to believe in yourself before you can expect anyone else to. Ya know what I mean?
Spinelli: I...The Jackal believes so. But here is the quandary that the grasshopper deals with....I, Spinelli, have a hard time believing in myself. It took gumption to even go to the Valkyrie the first time and still to this day I feel...different. The Jackal wants to be, normal...shyness, the embellishment of the english language...these are things that Spinelli uses to be even remotely accepted into society.
Nick Madison: Can I ask you something?
Spinelli: Of course.
Nick Madison: Why do you talk like that exactly?
Spinelli: Well, the Jackal has an appreciation for the English language, thus the large vocabulary. As for the, now rightfully named Spinelli-isms, the Jackal has always done that. It’s just something that makes me, Demetrius Spinelli at ease in the wild world.
Nick Madison: Well, I can’t say you’d be....you....without it, I just always wondered I suppose. But yeah, just be yourself around Breeze..lighten up and everything will be fine.
Spinelli: The Jackal thinks he understands. I shall heed the wise words of the Anarchistic Renegade and come the party, the Jackal will win the affections of the Beautiful Breeze.
Nick Madison: Good deal, man....now uh...I better go check with Laura...cause you know how she gets when I keep her waiting.
Spinelli: Yes...yes I do. The Jackal shall bid the Renegade adu.
Nick Madison: See ya later man.
(Nick and Spinelli shake hands, before Nick leaves to catch up with Laura.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to present day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spinelli: If only the Jackal had just heeded the words. Then Demetrius would have never reared his ugly head.
PART 2
(Scene fades in as we rejoin Spinelli locked in his hotel room)
Spinelli: Faithful night arrived, finally after a long grueling 7 days, had the entire moment planned to perfection. The Jackal was on his way....and then...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Again with the wavey lines~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(We now join the King of the Ring after party in full swing. We see Jesse and Nick chatting with beers in their hands. Cameron is trying to keep Laura, who started drinking in advance, under some semblance of control.)
Cameron O'Neil:: Laur, come on we are here to celebrate Levi’s win and to just relax and unwind. You are already pissed off and too much alcohol is not gonna be good for anyone.
Laura Phoenix: I am...perfectly fine...besides I don’t wanna go anywhere til Spinelli shows up with Breeze.
(As almost as if on command, The Iceman Levi Russow comes darting by on a rascal scooter spraying champagne everywhere and screaming the lyrics “We Are The Champions” at the top of his lungs as the rascal screeches to a halt and he shoots a clicking wink and a single gun finger at Cam and Laura as the Rascal jolts to life again.)
Cameron O'Neil:: Though if Levi keeps it up, Jesse is going to kill him and then where will we be?
(Breeze walks through the door and sneaks up on the crew from behind.)
Breeze: Sup guys?!
Laura Phoenix: THERE you are! What the hell took you guys so long?
Breeze: He got us lost...
Laura Phoenix: He has GPS on this phone...how the hell was that even possible?
Breeze: Well, I have no idea.
Cameron O'Neil:: It’s Spinelli, I swear that kid needs GPS for own home.
Breeze: He should be coming in, in a few seconds. He was out looking for a parking spot.
Laura Phoenix: Was everything ok coming over from the arena?
Breeze: Yeah, But he’s not much of a talker though.
Cameron O'Neil:: ....I can never seem to get the kid to shut up when he’s around me.
Laura Phoenix: Ditto...man he must be smitten with you, Breeze.
Breeze: Could be, who knows.
(Just at that moment, Jesse Russow and Nick Madison walk up to the ladies.)
Jesse Russow: Leave the poor boy alone...he’s scared of you, Breezy!
(Breeze just shook her head at Jesse with a small smile.)
Breeze: I don’t see why.
Cameron O'Neil:: He’s intimidated. There’s a difference.
Laura Phoenix: Well, here’s hoping his talk with Nick got through to him.
Nick Madison: Yeah, we’ll see.
Cameron O'Neil:: Where is he though? I mean I know you said he was parking but this is long for him.
(Laura looks around and stops dead and her eyes widen)
Laura Phoenix: What...the...
(Cameron turns around and has the same reaction)
Cameron O'Neil:: Uhh...guys...
Jesse Russow: HOLY MEN’S WEARHOUSE BATMAN!
(We see Spinelli walking in but instead of his usual baggie khaki’s and shirts, he’s in a fitted black suit with sunglasses on his face)
Laura Phoenix: Nick...what the hell did you do?!?!
Nick Madison: I.....uh.....uhm....what?
(Jesse turns and looks at Nick)
Jesse Russow: . . .does he have a flashy thing from Men in Black? HAVE YOU EVER FLASHY THINGED ME!?
(Cameron slaps Jesse upside the head as Spinelli walks up to the group with a drink in his hand)
Spinelli: Gracious Gre- I mean, hey guys.
Laura Phoenix: Hey- ...guys? Spinelli...what the hell is this?
Spinelli: What do you mean?
Cameron O'Neil:: You...look...different and...
Breeze: ....I had nothing to do with this.
Spinelli: I’ve always had this suit. You guys don’t like it?
(Laura looks at Spinelli and back to everyone.)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...
Spinelli: Please Laura, call me Demetrius.
Laura Phoenix: .........Demetrius uhm....what the hell is this?
Jesse Russow: This must be what going mad feels like...
Spinelli: Well, I spoke with Nick the other day and he said, I should...be myself. He pointed out that how I handled myself may have been....unusual. This should be me...
Cameron O'Neil:: I...I am floored here. Spinelli...what are you drinking?
(Spinelli holds up his drink and looks at it for a moment)
Spinelli: Vodka on the rocks with a hard twist of lime.
Laura Phoenix: What...what the hell happen to your orange soda?
Spinelli: I felt that if you are all engaging in a round of drinks I should as well.
(Spinelli slams it back before anyone can stop him)
Spinelli: Breeze, what would you like to drink. This round is on me.
Jesse Russow: . . .no I take that back, THIS must be what going mad feels like.
(Breeze looked at Spinelli with a raised eyebrow, and shook her head.)
Breeze: I’m good right now, I don’t really drink alcohol all that much, But you can get me a soda if you wish.
Spinelli: As you wish. If you all would excuse me.
(Spinelli walks away as the group stands there in shock)
Laura Phoenix: What the hell are we seeing here?
Breeze: A new changed version of Spinelli?
Jesse Russow: I think I need a CAT scan...Nick do we need CAT scans?
Nick Madison: I.....I....
(Nick downs his drink quickly and slams it down on the table.)
Nick Madison: I need about ten more drinks...STAT!
Laura Phoenix: Ditto and make them doubles.
(Just then The Iceman Levi Russow comes walking up with a wide-eyed, bewildered look on his face.)
The Iceman Levi Russow: Uhh...Laura? I don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news or nothin’ but...I think your nerd’s broken.
Cameron O'Neil:: Broken? More like he blew a damn circuit. Nick...you gotta tell us what the hell did you say to him?
Nick Madison: Shit, I was JUST trying to remember myself...I just told the kid to lighten up a bit....and a few other things....I guess he just....uh....took them the wrong way?
Jesse Russow: Wrong way? You sure?
Nick Madison: You’re right, I think I could get used to this Spinelli...
(Just then, Spinelli walks back with a round of drinks for the entire table, along with a soda for Breeze.)
Spinelli: This one’s on me, guys.
Nick Madison: Oh yeah....definitely could like this.
Laura Phoenix: Demetrius, what brought on this...sudden change?
Jesse Russow: Are you on the drugs, son?
Spinelli: Quite the contrary, Valiant....uhh, Jesse, just I had an epiphany. I needed to just realize that being the way I was, wasn’t helping my life.
The Iceman Levi Russow: . . .HO-KAY! That’s enough of the “What The Fuck” Family for ME! TALLY-HO!
(Levi jumps back on his rascal and chugs a bottle of champagne as he rolls away.)
Laura Phoenix: I don’t know who’s weirder, him or Spinelli.
Jesse Russow: Straight up...best not to ask.
Breeze: I think they both are....but that’s just me.
(Spinelli seems to be taken back by what Breeze says)
Spinelli: Don’t you like this new look?
Breeze: It’s going to take some time to get used too....I don’t mean to offend.
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli...I...can I talk to you over here? Now?
(Spinelli looks at Laura and nods and they walk over to a corner of the bar by themselves)
Laura Phoenix: Ok, you have to let me in on the joke. What the hell is going on here?
Spinelli: The Valkyrie need not worry for I have everything well under control.
Laura Phoenix: Under control...Spinelli, you are drinking Vodka with lime when you never had a drop of alcohol in your life. You look like something out of GQ magazine. Top it off you are acting like a regular person. What the hell is going on in your head? Especially because you are so far off from normal and that’s the one thing we all love about you.
Spinelli: The Jackal is trying to show the Beautiful one that I can also be normal. I want to be able to make her feel comfortable with me. Being this eccentric computer geek didn’t do me any good before, why should it start now?
(Breeze heard what was said from the corner, she seemed a bit taken back of what was said and shook her head. She walked back towards the group and grabbed her jacket and started to head away before someone in the group caught her.)
Laura Phoenix: Spinelli, you are unique in the only way you can be. Breeze likes you but you putting on this facade won’t help your case.
Spinelli: The Jackal thinks you are mistaken.
Laura Phoenix: Ya think so?
(Laura just shakes her head and turns around to rejoin the group and Spinelli follows behind. Laura looks to Nick with just frustration on her face.)
Laura Phoenix: I give up trying to talk to him.
Nick Madison: Babe, even this is a shock to me....and look at him. I mean he’s not use to drinking...he’s...
Laura Phoenix: You think he’s drunk already?
Nick Madison: Kid is a 180 pounds soaking wet...
(Spinelli looks around)
Spinelli: Breeze? Has anyone seen where Breeze ran off too?
Jesse Russow: I wonder if they have karaoke...
Cameron O'Neil:: I don’t know Spinelli, she was here one minute and gone the next.
(As if by clockwork we hear the screeching of the Rascal again as a VERY inebriated Iceman Levi Russow skids to a halt.)
The Iceman Levi Russow: The Breezy lady gon’ with the wind...
Jesse Russow: Oh for God’s sakes Levi, speak ENGLISH!
The Iceman Levi Russow: Nom pella toppy cocker!
Jesse Russow: Did you SEE where Breeze went?
The Iceman Levi Russow: Outsizzide.
(Spinelli’s face drops and before anyone can say anything to him he takes off running into people on the way out the door. He gets outside and frantically looks around but Breeze is nowhere in sight. He runs his hands through his scraggly hair before sitting on the steps of the building and hiding his face in his hands.)
Spinelli: ...Oh God what have I done.
PART 3
(Scene fades in as we hear footsteps staggering along the pier, we see a pair of dress shoes as we hear a familiar voice singing a song)
Spinelli: Come on to my lady
My lady is as fair as can be
(Spinelli falls to his knees before laying on the cement of the pier and stretching out)
Spinelli: She is been absent of light
Together somewhere we will...be
(His head moves and he sees something silver and glowing in the light, he reaches out and grabs it and it’s a bracelet)
Spinelli: Shiny...shiny bangle. Perhaps lost in haste at the stroke of midnight.
(He turns over onto his back and holds it up)
Spinelli: WHOEVER’S FRAGILE WRIST THIS FITS SHALL BE MY OWN CINDERELLA!
Female Voice: I guess that’s me.
(Spinelli quickly looks up to see Trisha Lee Moore walking up to him and kneels down next to him but Spinelli quickly backs away)
Spinelli: Vixenella, daughter of darkness, please do not unleash your scary fury, we mean no harm.
(Trisha looks around for a moment)
Trisha Lee Moore: We?
Spinelli: Yeah...um...the Jackal and Demetrius...
Trisha Lee Moore: Oh, ok...I know you call yourself the Jackal, for some reason. Who’s Demetrius?
Spinelli: Is me as well...we’re both personas, equally socially inept but neither a thief.
(Spinelli opens up the silver bracelet and helps Trisha put it back on as she looks at the very inebriated Spinelli with amusement)
Trisha Lee Moore: I think you’ve had a lil to much to drink.
Spinelli: I may be somewhat under the influence but alas, not enough to forget that being perennial loser is not as bad as momentarily reaching the pinnacle of manhood only to plummet to the hell of geekdom ONCE MORE!
(Spinelli falls to his back on the pier but turns over and pulls himself up)
Spinelli: The Anarchist Renegade, finally offered a workable paradigm, ya know? The clothes, the attitude, it finally all started to make sense....
Trisha Lee Moore: Not to meeee.
Spinelli: No, it was nothing short of a miracle how, how effective Demetrius was. He...he, he was supremely confident, and he knew the right things to say, so Spinelli could relax and stay out of the way and hand it over to Demetrius, who could...hold a drink..all NIGHT, without spilling it or becoming inebriated.
Trisha Lee Moore: Who’s Demetrius?
Spinelli: I thought I told you...
(Spinelli leans back and sits on whatever is available but drops a little too fast causing him to make a painful groan as Trisha reaches out to balance him)
Spinelli: It is I, the Jackal...or at least it was for one bright shining moment but now I am once again me...the Jackal...heh...hapless Spinelli.
(Spinelli reaches out and holds on to Trisha arm looking at her bracelet)
Trisha Lee Moore: You know..
Spinelli: But, you know the worse part of this whole thing was that the facade was...the facade crumbled right in front of the one person it was meant for.
(He lays his head on Trisha arm and it’s obvious that she is really confused and a little uncomfortable)
Trisha Lee Moore: Ya...you know the only thing I got out of that is that your not use to drinking.
Spinelli: Oh don’t worry, it will pass, the dizziness will pass. I’ll just sit here and...
(Spinelli almost falls off the pier but Trisha grabs at him)
Trisha Lee Moore: NO! No no no...
(She finally gets him under control and holds him tight)
Trisha Lee Moore: Ok, you are coming with me...I’m gonna get you to the hotel ok? I’m gonna take you to the hotel. Come on...
(Scene fades as Trisha tries to put Spinelli on her back to carry him but he stumbles and falls to the ground in a fit of laughter.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Scene fades back in as we see Nick Madison crossing the room in the dead of night.)
Nick Madison: Yeah yeah...I’m fucking coming....3AM...this shit is getting old.
(He gets to door turning on a light so he can see better and he opens the door and gets greeted by the site of the ass of Spinelli as he is thrown over the shoulder of Trisha in a fireman carry. She walks right in and dumps him on the couch.)
Nick Madison: What the hell Trisha?
Trisha Lee Moore: Found your nerd, brought him back but since I didn’t know what hotel room he was at I brought him here. ...where’s Phoenix?
Nick Madison: She passed out a while ago. Drank a lot...
Trisha Lee Moore: What the hell, is it like a requirement for everyone in your group to be fall down drunks?
Nick Madison: Not even gonna dignify that with an answer...thank you for bringing Spinelli to here instead of letting him rot on the streets.
Trisha Lee Moore: Whatever...I saw him and figured I’d get my good deed out of the way for the day.
(From the background in the hotel room we hear Spinelli laughing)
Spinelli: Vixenella did a nice thing....
Nick Madison: Go back to sleep Spinelli.
Spinelli: Renegade don’t be so angry, the Vixenella was most surprisingly helpful tonight after your grasshopper found himself inexplicably on the pier without a memory of how he got there. She rendered him aid and comfort.
Nick Madison: What did you do to him?
Trisha Lee Moore: Nothing, I found him like this. On the pier, he was going to lay down and sleep there. I thought he’d be a sitting duck...
(Spinelli hops up from the couch)
Spinelli: Demetrius can hold his liquor...
(He stumbles as Nick and Trisha both catch his arm and helps him back down)
Spinelli: Alas the Jackal cannot...
Trisha Lee Moore: My suggestion is you call down to room service order this kid some carbs...
Nick Madison: I was just thinking that. Thanks...I guess.
Trisha Lee Moore: Anytime...Spinelli, I’ll see ya around ok?
(Spinelli has begun to curl up on the couch clutching the pillow)
Spinelli: Bye bye...
(Trisha looks at Nick before heading out of the room and shutting the door behind her and Nick looks down at Spinelli fast asleep once again and just shakes his head)