Post by Daniel Russow on Mar 2, 2019 14:21:08 GMT -5
(The scene opens with Josiah Cena walking down the hallway, seeming to get loose. When suddenly, he starts belting out...)
Josiah Cena: WOOOAAHHHH!
(Just as suddenly, we hear Levi Russow belt out from down the hallway.)
Levi Russow: WE’RE HALFWAY THERRRRE!
Josiah Cena: WOOOOOAHHHHH!!!!
Levi Russow: LIIIIVIN ON A PRAYER!
(The two join up, and start singing together.)
Levi & Josiah: TAKE MY HAAAAND, AND WE’LL MAKE IT I SWEAR!
(Just then, Brandon Harris decides to belt out as well.)
Brandon Harris: LIIIIVIN ON A PRAAYYYER!
(Josiah and Levi stop DEAD in their tracks and just stare at Brandon.)
Brandon Harris:...what?
Levi Russow: DUDE!
Josiah Cena: NOT cool!
Brandon Harris: But you guys were singing it!
Levi Russow: And if we jumped off a building, would you do the same?
Josiah Cena: You mean like base jumping? That actually sounds fun.
Levi Russow: Don’t it? Oh! I still haven’t taken you guys skydiving. We should do that before Jesse gets hitched, take him up there with a ball and chain.
Josiah Cena:...and a parachute, right?
Levi Russow: Uh...yeah...sure.
Brandon Harris: Uh, guys?
Josiah Cena: Ya know, we should find a bar that has a mechanical bull...it’s been a while since I rode a mechanical bull.
Levi Russow:....
Josiah Cena: Wha?
Levi Russow: Well, that explains why that was on Nick’s list for his and Laura’s new house….
Josiah Cena: That man gets me.
Levi Russow: GAEEEYYYYYY!!
Josiah Cena: DUDE, look me in the eye and tell me the thought of drunkenly riding a mechanical bull while not spilling your beer does not sound intriguing!
Levi Russow: I-
Josiah Cena: LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY IT!
Levi Russow: I CAN’T! That DOES sound intriguing!
Josiah Cena: Exactly!
Brandon Harris: Guys!
Josiah & Levi: WHAT!?
Brandon Harris: You have a match coming up…
Levi Russow: I thought we already did this schtick?
Josiah Cena: I coulda swore we did…
Brandon Harris: You did, but management wants more.
Levi Russow: Offfff COURSE they do!
Josiah Cena: It’s alright, man. I got this.
(Cena slings his arm over Levi’s shoulder and looks at the camera.)
Josiah Cena: See, there’s gonna be all this talk about this match, people from alllll over the world are gonna be tuning in for the PWSi 4 Year Anniversary show, and there’s one match, this match, that people all over are gonna be talking about, and ya know why?
Levi Russow: Why’s that?
Josiah Cena: Well it DAMN sure aint because of Ryan Jeter and Rob Colton, I tell ya what.
Levi Russow: Hank Hill, ladies and gentlemen.
Josiah Cena: Hey, isn’t Hank your da-
Levi Russow: You mouth. Shut it.
(There’s an awkward silence for a moment.)
Josiah Cena: Aaaaas I was saying...me and Levi, Levi and I, however you wish to say it, we’re gonna go out there, we’re gonna entertain the fans like we’ve done for years, and we’re gonna walk out with the big W.
Levi Russow: Woooooah now….
Josiah Cena: Wha?
Levi Russow: The big W?
Josiah Cena: Well, yeah…
Levi Russow: I ain’t holdin on to NO ONE’S willy but MY OWN!
Josiah Cena: Wh-NO you moron! The big W, the WIN!
Levi Russow: OH! THAT w….y-yeah! We’ll walk out with the W!
(Josiah just looks at Levi for a moment.)
Levi Russow: Need I remind you that it was YOU that forced me to watch the entire GLEE tv show series in a marathon! I don’t want none of yo lip, boy!
Brandon Harris: Uh, about the match?
Josiah Cena: You’re still here?
Levi Russow: Psst...he never leaves. Whole time I been here, he never left.
Brandon Harris: Guys, I’m just trying to do my job…
Levi Russow: Well STOP! Dahhh I’m just kiddin, kid. You’re alright.
Brandon Harris: Really, Levi?
Levi Russow: Hell no! You stupid?
Brandon Harris: *sigh*
Josiah Cena: He’s kidding.
Levi Russow: What he said.
Brandon Harris: Anyway...Josiah, as we approach closer to your retirement, what’s going through your mind right now?
Josiah Cena: Well I’m looking forward to getting out there in front of these great fans, giving them one HELL of a show, and then after Levi and I show why WE are the ones in the Hall of Fame and the main event of Crusade, then...oh then the party shall start.
Levi Russow: Dude...I don’t think that place can handle another Russow party this soon.
Josiah Cena: Maaaaan, its AMSTERDAM! There’s parties EVERYWHERE! And I’ll tell you, the party won’t stop! No no, we ain’t ever gonna stop!
Levi Russow: You...need help.
Josiah Cena: Nah, I’m good. Tis Colton and Jeter who need the help.
Levi Russow: Amen brotha! Preach it!
Josiah Cena: Ya see, I’m no stranger to Colton, the little shit’s been a thorn in the side of humanity for a long time now. He was back in PWSR when we were going through all that crap with Wylde, and of course he was there every week, kissing Wylde’s ass. Now he’s gone and done the same thing to Max to get his….mammoth hired.
Levi Russow: Have you SEEN the thing?
Josiah Cena: Not yet…
Levi Russow: I had to do a double take cause at first glance I thought it was JaX in drag.
Josiah Cena: Damn…
Levi Russow: I’ll PROBABLY have nightmares….it...it was disturbing.
Josiah Cena: It scarred you?
Levi Russow: Yus.
Josiah Cena: As much as the Glee-
Levi Russow: FUCK YOU AND YOUR COUCH, CENA!
(Levi starts to run away screaming.)
Levi Russow: FUUUUUCK YOURRRRR COOOOOUUUCCCHHHH!!!!
(Cena shakes his head and laughs.)
Josiah Cena: My tag team partner, this is gonna be fun as hell.
(WIth that, Cena walks past Brandon as the scene fades.)
Josiah Cena: WOOOAAHHHH!
(Just as suddenly, we hear Levi Russow belt out from down the hallway.)
Levi Russow: WE’RE HALFWAY THERRRRE!
Josiah Cena: WOOOOOAHHHHH!!!!
Levi Russow: LIIIIVIN ON A PRAYER!
(The two join up, and start singing together.)
Levi & Josiah: TAKE MY HAAAAND, AND WE’LL MAKE IT I SWEAR!
(Just then, Brandon Harris decides to belt out as well.)
Brandon Harris: LIIIIVIN ON A PRAAYYYER!
(Josiah and Levi stop DEAD in their tracks and just stare at Brandon.)
Brandon Harris:...what?
Levi Russow: DUDE!
Josiah Cena: NOT cool!
Brandon Harris: But you guys were singing it!
Levi Russow: And if we jumped off a building, would you do the same?
Josiah Cena: You mean like base jumping? That actually sounds fun.
Levi Russow: Don’t it? Oh! I still haven’t taken you guys skydiving. We should do that before Jesse gets hitched, take him up there with a ball and chain.
Josiah Cena:...and a parachute, right?
Levi Russow: Uh...yeah...sure.
Brandon Harris: Uh, guys?
Josiah Cena: Ya know, we should find a bar that has a mechanical bull...it’s been a while since I rode a mechanical bull.
Levi Russow:....
Josiah Cena: Wha?
Levi Russow: Well, that explains why that was on Nick’s list for his and Laura’s new house….
Josiah Cena: That man gets me.
Levi Russow: GAEEEYYYYYY!!
Josiah Cena: DUDE, look me in the eye and tell me the thought of drunkenly riding a mechanical bull while not spilling your beer does not sound intriguing!
Levi Russow: I-
Josiah Cena: LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY IT!
Levi Russow: I CAN’T! That DOES sound intriguing!
Josiah Cena: Exactly!
Brandon Harris: Guys!
Josiah & Levi: WHAT!?
Brandon Harris: You have a match coming up…
Levi Russow: I thought we already did this schtick?
Josiah Cena: I coulda swore we did…
Brandon Harris: You did, but management wants more.
Levi Russow: Offfff COURSE they do!
Josiah Cena: It’s alright, man. I got this.
(Cena slings his arm over Levi’s shoulder and looks at the camera.)
Josiah Cena: See, there’s gonna be all this talk about this match, people from alllll over the world are gonna be tuning in for the PWSi 4 Year Anniversary show, and there’s one match, this match, that people all over are gonna be talking about, and ya know why?
Levi Russow: Why’s that?
Josiah Cena: Well it DAMN sure aint because of Ryan Jeter and Rob Colton, I tell ya what.
Levi Russow: Hank Hill, ladies and gentlemen.
Josiah Cena: Hey, isn’t Hank your da-
Levi Russow: You mouth. Shut it.
(There’s an awkward silence for a moment.)
Josiah Cena: Aaaaas I was saying...me and Levi, Levi and I, however you wish to say it, we’re gonna go out there, we’re gonna entertain the fans like we’ve done for years, and we’re gonna walk out with the big W.
Levi Russow: Woooooah now….
Josiah Cena: Wha?
Levi Russow: The big W?
Josiah Cena: Well, yeah…
Levi Russow: I ain’t holdin on to NO ONE’S willy but MY OWN!
Josiah Cena: Wh-NO you moron! The big W, the WIN!
Levi Russow: OH! THAT w….y-yeah! We’ll walk out with the W!
(Josiah just looks at Levi for a moment.)
Levi Russow: Need I remind you that it was YOU that forced me to watch the entire GLEE tv show series in a marathon! I don’t want none of yo lip, boy!
Brandon Harris: Uh, about the match?
Josiah Cena: You’re still here?
Levi Russow: Psst...he never leaves. Whole time I been here, he never left.
Brandon Harris: Guys, I’m just trying to do my job…
Levi Russow: Well STOP! Dahhh I’m just kiddin, kid. You’re alright.
Brandon Harris: Really, Levi?
Levi Russow: Hell no! You stupid?
Brandon Harris: *sigh*
Josiah Cena: He’s kidding.
Levi Russow: What he said.
Brandon Harris: Anyway...Josiah, as we approach closer to your retirement, what’s going through your mind right now?
Josiah Cena: Well I’m looking forward to getting out there in front of these great fans, giving them one HELL of a show, and then after Levi and I show why WE are the ones in the Hall of Fame and the main event of Crusade, then...oh then the party shall start.
Levi Russow: Dude...I don’t think that place can handle another Russow party this soon.
Josiah Cena: Maaaaan, its AMSTERDAM! There’s parties EVERYWHERE! And I’ll tell you, the party won’t stop! No no, we ain’t ever gonna stop!
Levi Russow: You...need help.
Josiah Cena: Nah, I’m good. Tis Colton and Jeter who need the help.
Levi Russow: Amen brotha! Preach it!
Josiah Cena: Ya see, I’m no stranger to Colton, the little shit’s been a thorn in the side of humanity for a long time now. He was back in PWSR when we were going through all that crap with Wylde, and of course he was there every week, kissing Wylde’s ass. Now he’s gone and done the same thing to Max to get his….mammoth hired.
Levi Russow: Have you SEEN the thing?
Josiah Cena: Not yet…
Levi Russow: I had to do a double take cause at first glance I thought it was JaX in drag.
Josiah Cena: Damn…
Levi Russow: I’ll PROBABLY have nightmares….it...it was disturbing.
Josiah Cena: It scarred you?
Levi Russow: Yus.
Josiah Cena: As much as the Glee-
Levi Russow: FUCK YOU AND YOUR COUCH, CENA!
(Levi starts to run away screaming.)
Levi Russow: FUUUUUCK YOURRRRR COOOOOUUUCCCHHHH!!!!
(Cena shakes his head and laughs.)
Josiah Cena: My tag team partner, this is gonna be fun as hell.
(WIth that, Cena walks past Brandon as the scene fades.)