|
Post by Laura Phoenix - HBIC on Jun 15, 2021 1:13:29 GMT -5
PWS: APEX Presents RIOT Tuesday, June 29th, 2021 LIVE from PWS Arena in New York, NY
Singles Match Richard Rider vs. The Squid-Man
Deadline is Sunday, June 27th 11:59:59 PM EST Word Counts: Minimum 300, Maximum 5000
|
|
|
Post by The Squid-Man on Jun 27, 2021 15:36:45 GMT -5
*Squidman residence. The residence of the Squid-Man. And the family of the Squid-Man. And the squid-man’s squid-dog, Squid-Dog. The Squid-Man sits at his kitchen table, reading the “Ocean Times”, when suddenly he puts the newspaper down, walking over to the counter, grabbing some bread out of the cupboard, as well as some ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, salami, tuna and egg salad out of the fridge.*
*After the Squid-Man has all of the proper makings on the counter, he puts a piece of bread down on a plate, which he also got out but I forgot to mention, but… it’s a fuckin’ Squid-Man promo, I’m not going back. After the bread is down, he puts the plate in the oven to heat the bread for a few minutes. He takes it out, resting the plate on the toaster as he puts on a slice of quality, A-grade, processed American ham.*
*The ham on the toasted bread, resting on the toasted plate, Squid-Man grabs the cheddar, putting a slice on the ham. He grabs the tomato and realizes he needs to chop it. He gives the tomato a knife-edge chop and it just manages to bruise it. He thinks for a moment, before grabbing a knife and slicing the tomato into slices, stacking them all on top of the cheese.*
*Squid-Man grabs the onion, putting the entire thing on top of the tomato. It’s amazing it’s retaining its structural integrity, but it is. Squid-Man grabs some mayo from the fridge and slathers it onto the onion, before layering slices of pickle on top, almost coating the onion in a layer of sliced pickles. He grabs the lettuce, smashing it on the counter to remove the root, or whatever that bit is. The impact of smashing it brings the cupboards down, spilling everything onto the counter, showering the food in shards of wood and cupboard handles. Completely ignoring this, he pulls the gross part out of the lettuce and chucks it into the garbage. He grabs a slice of lettuce, putting it onto the sandwich, walking over and throwing out the rest of the head.*
*He takes the sandwich, which he puts the top onto, and brings it over to the table, snapping a picture of it for Squinstagram. After he does so, he picks the sandwich up, plate and all, and throws it in the garbage. After a few more moments, he gets a notification on his phone saying he got a like on his picture. He turns to the camera, giving a thumbs-up, as the camera closes in with a black circle.*
Squid-Man: I am a squid.
|
|
|
Post by Richard Rider on Jun 27, 2021 20:30:11 GMT -5
(The scene fades up in the back of the arena where Richard Rider was sitting in the stylist's chair. She was using a blow dryer to dry his luscious locks post touch-up. He had the black cape over him but couldn't resist pulling out his phone for an "obligatory selfie". The stylist shook her head and rolled her eyes.)
Richard Rider: Excuse me? What was that all about?
(She turned off the blow dryer and raised an eyebrow at him.)
Stylist: Why are people so obsessed with taking selfies BEFORE I'm finished? It makes me look bad because of it doesn't look good yet.
Richard Rider: Calm your tits, woman. It's just a picture.
Stylist: And that is exactly why you are striking out with Violet... you don't know how to talk to a woman without being offensive, condescending, or rude.
Richard Rider: Don't you worry about Violet. I'll have her eating out of the palm of my hand before you know it. Once I'm done beating this... weird-o wearing a squid mask. I... don't get it.
(The stylist turned on the blow dryer and kept going, blatantly ignoring Rider from this point out.)
Richard Rider: Why would you want to wear a squid mask? And why a crocheted one? Why not splurge for a good quality one? Doesn't the mask make breathing hard during a match? and what is with only saying "I am a squid"? I just... I don't get it! I don't think anyone does. It's stupid and I'm gonna beat his stupid ass and rip that damn mask off to see who is underneath. I bet it's some one dumb, like Miles Kasey or a stupid Russow. In fact... I'd bet money on it!
(He took another selfie on his phone, this time with a "smoldering" face which actually looked more like he was trying to fart, as the scene faded to black)
|
|